Relationships…

…and how to survive them

Navigating Difficult Relationships

Relationships can be one of the greatest sources of comfort in our lives, but they can also be where we feel the most pain. Whether with a partner, family member, friend, or colleague, difficulties in relationships can leave us feeling stuck, frustrated, or even questioning ourselves. It’s normal to struggle in this area, and learning how to navigate challenging dynamics can bring relief and growth.

Why relationships can feel so hard

At their best, relationships give us a sense of belonging, security, and love. But they can also bring out the worse in us. Old wounds may get triggered, expectations can clash, and communication styles don’t always align. Many of us were never taught healthy ways to deal with conflict, so when disagreements or tensions arise, we fall back on patterns we learned growing up - whether that’s avoiding difficult conversations, becoming defensive, or putting other people’s needs ahead of our own.

Recognising the signs of strain

Sometimes the signs of a difficult relationship are obvious - arguments that go round in circles, feeling constantly criticised, or cycles of distance and closeness. Other times it’s more subtle: walking on eggshells, feeling drained after interactions, or noticing you’re not quite yourself around that person. Paying attention to these signs is an important first step.

The role of boundaries

Healthy relationships are built on respect and balance, and boundaries are central to this. Boundaries are not about shutting people out, but about being clear on what is and isn’t ok for us. For example, you might want to establish what level of communication you’re comfortable with (eg, not constantly texting) or that it’s important for you to have time to yourself to do your own thing. [See my blog on Self Care for more ideas on this.] Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable at first; especially if you fear conflict or rejection but they protect your wellbeing and give relationships the chance to grow in a healthier direction.

Communicating with openness

When things feel tense, it’s easy to fall into blame or silence. Yet honest and compassionate communication is often what helps us move forward. Using “I” statements (“I feel overwhelmed when…”) instead of “you always” or “you never” can prevent defensiveness and open the door to real understanding. Listening with curiosity rather than planning your reply also shifts the dynamic; you don’t have to agree, but showing that you’ve heard the other person can defuse a lot of tension.

Knowing what’s yours to carry

It can be tempting to take responsibility for fixing everything, especially if you’re a natural caretaker. But in any relationship, both people share responsibility for how they show up. It isn’t your job to manage another person’s emotions or choices. Sometimes, the most loving act is to step back and allow them to take ownership of their part.

When to seek support

If a relationship is leaving you feeling consistently anxious, drained, or unsafe, it might be time to seek support. Counselling can help you explore the patterns at play, strengthen your boundaries, and build confidence in expressing your needs. For some, this might lead to repairing and improving a relationship; for others, it might mean making the difficult decision to step away.

Moving forward

Navigating difficult relationships isn’t about getting everything right 100% of the time. It’s about developing self-awareness, learning healthier ways of relating, and making choices that honour your values. With time and support, it’s possible to build connections that feel more balanced, respectful, and nourishing - both for you and those around you.